Saturday, August 04, 2007

Hall's First Law of Mind Control

I have had a theory for awhile. Today I gathered enough evidence to prove it, therefore making it a Scientific Law. My theory is this: You can directly control the behavior of your entire city by mowing your grass. Yes. I'm not the only one privy to this info.

Anyways this is how I have proven this.

1. went outside with the hedge trimmers to clean up an unruly bush. I reconned the area- 3-4 yards up an either side of me and across the street as well. People were out and about this morning (11:00ish), but all yards were high grass. People were working on other projects. I finish trimming the bush and set my experiment in motion.

2. Crank lawnmower and mow 3 rows in the front yard. Cut off lawnmower and observe. A skillsaw across the street stops. Two people jump in their cars with red gas cans. They are back momentarily with full cans of fuel I presume. One by one lawnmowers start on every lawn up the street. Little red pushmowers, big green John Deere riding mowers. I look across the street- the carpentry work has stopped and full blown emergency grass mowing has commenced. I count eight lawns being mown in full scale panic attack.

This grass mowing epedemic is compounding as well, spreading to the next street over. The next neighborhood too. Who knows how far it will go.

I'm off to drive the nail in the coffin now- I have a weedeater and I'm gonna use it. DH

1 comment:

spokejunky said...

Noted use of electric hedge trimmers and weedeater offset your carbon footprint for the day; however, the yard lemming hypothesis put you in the hole with China.